To Live Is To Die
by amy-lee88
Summary: Jordan has gone back to school without Marik...He was killed on the summer holidays. NOw she has to go back to school and face the memories. After a week she leaves school beacause she's gonna have Marik's child. Marik's best friend Bakura is now getting
1. Default Chapter

To Live Is To Die…

Chapter 1…….Back To School

I got up and got ready for the first day of school. I brushed my hair and put it in a pony tail on the top of my head. I straightened up my new school uniform and breathed in deep.

"Here we go" I breathed in again and closed my eyes. "Be strong" I put on a determined face and walked out the door and to the bus stop where I sat down and waited for the bus to come. I took out my cell phone and looked at the screen… '_I can't live without you'… _was the screen saver I had made. I sighed and out the phone back in my pocket the bus had arrived. I walked onto the bus and paid. My friend Tea called out to me to sit next to her, she sat in the same seat as she always did last year. She had got her hair cut just before the Christmas holidays it had grown since I last seen her.

"How are you, how was your holidays?" She asked me.

"It was Ok" I said, Tea didn't know what happened on my holidays because I hadn't seen her; I didn't really want to talk about it anyway.

We arrived at school; I got off the bus and looked at the huge building, I wanted to run away and hide. I gulped and walked in through the tall gates.

"Do you want to come with me?" Tea asked

"No I'm gonna find Mai and Rachel, I'll see ya later." We hugged and kissed cheeks then she left.

I walked around a little bit until I found Mai. "Hey! How are you?" She called. She jumped up and hugged me. She was always the crazy and loud one.

I pulled away from her and smiled weakly. "I'm fine…" I looked at the ground.

"What's wrong?" She asked

"Nothing I'm just tired" I said not wanting to talk to anyone but Rachel about my problem. "I'm gonna go find Rachel I'll see you later." I said and walked off without another word.

Then Rachel and her boyfriend Yami walked up to me. "Hey how are you Jordan?" Rachel said softly.

A tear fell down my cheek. "I don't wanna be here, I don't know if I can take any more."

"Just don't think about it he's gone and thinking about it is only gonna make things worse." Yami reassured me. He was always serious and gave good advice, he wasn't Marik's best friend but they were still good friends.

The bell went and we had an assembly to get our timetables for this year. We are in Year 11 now doing our VCE. The second last year of school was gonna be the hardest for me.

**AmyLee: **This is based on a true story except her boyfriend just left school and she was barely ever gonna see him. What happened to Marik find you'll find out soon enough…


	2. Haunting Memories

Chapter 2……………….Haunting Memories…

We had just received our timetables I had double drama with Rachel first. I went to my new locker and put my lock on it, I emptied all my books from my bag into it got all my books that I needed then I put my bag in there then closed it and locked it. I walked to the drama room, as I walked past I saw the lockers Marik and I had last year, I fought hard to keep back the tears. I walked out the double doors that lead to the drama room; I spotted the music room and ran back into the corridor and bumped into Bakura (Marik's best friend) knocking us both over.

"Uh Jordan are you Ok?" He helped me up and noticed that I was crying. "What's wrong Jordan? Oh…I know" He held me close to him.

"I better get to my class Bakura, you better go too" I stood up.

"Are you sure you're Ok?" He looked at me seriously.

"I'm fine" I walked out of the double doors and tried not to look towards the music room. I walked into the drama room.

"Sorry I'm late Sir" I sat down next to Rachel.

"Yes I know Jordan you don't have to worry about it I know what you're going through" He said quietly to me.

The class went quickly and the bell went for recess. I walked to my locker stowing my books on the top shelf then closing the door and locking it. I walked outside and met up with my friends Yugi, Joey, Amy-Leigh, Seto, Tristan and Serenity.

"Hey Jordan" Yugi said.

"Hi guys" I said glumly and sat down on the seat next to Yugi. Only Yugi and Amy-Leigh knew what happened to Marik everyone else was completely unaware.

"Hey Jordan, where's Marik today?" Joey asked happily.

I chocked on the air I breathed in. "Why hasn't anyone told him? Why do I have to be the one to tell everyone I can't even cope with it myself?" Tears ran down my face. "Marik's dead Joey…he died" I fell to my knees and looked at my hands.

"Jordan I'm sorry" He said slowly.

Then Bakura came out of nowhere and got me to stand on my feet. "It's Ok Jordan" He hugged me close. He took me for a walk down to the canteen. I remembered how I used to wait for Marik when he was in line.

"No Bakura can we go somewhere else please" I sniffed back the tears.

"Ok where do you wanna go?" He said softly.

"Let's go to the front of the school, the front of the library" I said. We walked to the front of the library and watched the cars drive past. This place didn't remind me of Marik even though I still cried over the loss of him.

The bell went to go inside.

"Come on lets go" Bakura said. And we walked back into the building.

**AmyLee: **If you're wondering what happened to Marik keep reading you'll find out soon I promise. This story is so sad fights back tears R&R good people!!


	3. Facing Your Fears

Chapter 3…………….Facing Your Fears

It was Thursday the 3rd day back at school, I had avoided going near the music room all week successfully until today.

"Hey Jordan we're having our first practice in the music room today" Bakura said. "You wanna come" He asked.

"I can't…" I said looking at the ground.

"Why..." He asked.

"That was Marik's favorite place at this school Bakura I can't go in there it would remind me too much of him…I can't do that right now" I explained

"Well you're gonna be coming in the music room today, because if you don't do it now you never will" He looked deep into my eyes, I looked away afraid he could read my thoughts and see my visions of Marik being crushed by his motorbike.

"Bakura I can't" I said firmly.

"Ok" He said looking away. We walked to our next classes, the last class before lunch time. It flew past quickly and it was time to go outside. I went to my locker and found Bakura standing there waiting for me.

"No Bakura I'm not going." I said.

"Just come with me, everyone's gonna be in there we can't leave you outside alone." He stated.

I gave up and he led me to my doom. We walked inside the music room and the memories flooded into my mind.

--Flashback--

Bakura was mucking around on the drums, Yugi was on the electric guitar playing a tune and Joey was on the bass guitar. I was sitting by the door in Marik's arms looking into his eyes. He giggled. I kissed his lips lightly, and then he kissed me back but with more passion.

"Get a room you two" Bakura laughed.

"Shut up Bakura" Marik said getting up, walking towards the drum kit and stealing the drum sticks off Bakura and kicking him off the seat. He started to play; he was very good at drums he'd been playing for about 12 years so he was the best drummer in the room. Bakura had only been playing for about 2 years so he wasn't as good as Marik.

I walked up to Marik and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then sat down on a chair next to the drum kit and put my hands over my ears because the boys were so loud when they played.

--End of Flashback--

My whole body started to shake violently.

--Another Flashback--

Marik was sitting in a chair playing an electric guitar that belonged to the school, I stood next to him and he smiled up at me then he started playing My Immortal for me, it is my favorite song. He stuffed up a few notes and cussed at the guitar.

"Stupid thing!" He said then smiled at me again, put the guitar down and stood up. "Do you wanna go get something to eat?"

"Thinking about your stomach again Marik?" Bakura mocked. Jordan laughed.

"You wanna come too?" Marik asked Bakura.

"Why not?" Bakura answered and walked towards them away from the drums.

--End of flashback--

I ran out side and threw up, I cried uncontrollably. Bakura ran out to help me so did Yugi, Amy-Leigh, and everyone else.

"Bakura she wasn't ready! She told you that". Mai yelled at Bakura outside of the sickbay.

"I'm sorry I just thought she could do it, she's stronger than you think ya know" Bakura replied.

"Mai would you stop yelling at Bakura!" I yelled at Mai who looked at me shocked that I spoke up because I usually don't.

"Uh Jordan how are you?" Bakura asked.

"I'm fine I'm going home" I said then left them there to stare at my back as I walked away.

**AmyLee: **R&R good people is this story believable??? Well Jordan's turning cold, and she won't talk about Marik's death to anyone.


	4. Nightmares

Chapter 4 ……………..Nightmares

I drove down to the beach and found somewhere to park my car. I got out and walked along the waterfront. It was beautiful; it never used to be like this it used to look trashy and old now it was clean and modern. I walked past the place where Marik was telling me how and where he was going to propose to me, I fought back the tears and kept walking. I sat down on some rocks on the shoreline, the miniature waves creeping up the wall. Tears started to fall down my cheeks again.

"God why did you have to take him away from me? I love him so much" I cried.

I sat in that place for hours staring into the horizon.

---------------------------------

"Come on Marik the race is about to start hurry up" Ishizu called.

"Good luck, I love you" I said then kissed Marik full on the lips.

"Thank you babe, I love you too" He kissed me again, then he put on his helmet and went to the start line and got on his motor bike.

'I love you' He mouthed to me just before they were about to start.

"Marik Ishtar is the favorite to win this race, but today he's up against Bakura Ryou a new addition to the race course and a very tough one I might add." The commentator's voice rang over the speakers.

I stood at the sidelines with Serenity and Mai; we were cheering both Bakura and Marik because they were both our friends. I was secretly cheering more for Marik because he'd been waiting for this race for a while.

"Come on Marik! Go Bakura!" We cheered.

The gun went off and the race started, the bikes tore down the track, making dust clouds.

"How many laps is there Jordan?" Mai asked.

"3 I think" I replied.

They made it round the 1st lap and Marik and Bakura were way in front, they both went over the biggest jump on the track at the same time, it was perfect until they came back down. Marik's bike slipped from underneath him and somehow landed on top of him then Bakura came crashing down on top of him.

"Marik!!" I screamed and ran to him.

"Oh no Jordan come back!" Mai ran after her.

I ran as fast as I could I need to get to him and fast. I got to the two bikes that were a mess, with the two most important boys in my life trapped underneath them.

"Marik?" I searched for him.

"Jordan?" He answered his voice cracked and he coughed.

"Marik I'm here honey don't move" Tears fell down my cheeks. "No" I saw what he had coughed up; blood was running from the side of his mouth.

"Where's Bakura?" He asked his voice getting raspier.

"Uh I don't know. Bakura?" I called, but no answer.

"Jordan is he OK?" Mai asked.

"No he's not, can you find Bakura" I asked her.

She looked around a little and found silky white hair matted with blood underneath one of the bikes.

"Bakura honey wake up" Mai shook him a little bit. "Bakura!" She shook him a little bit more.

"Ugh, er huh what Marik!" He sat up fast and screamed in pain. "Arggghh!"

"What is it Bakura?" Mai asked.

"My leg" He choked. Mai looked down at his leg.

"Oh my god!" She screeched.

"What?" I asked.

"The bike peddle went through his leg" Mai said her face going pale.

"Jordan?" Marik said as he coughed up more blood.

"Yeah…" I brushed the hair out of his face. He wiped the tears from my cheeks and pulled me down and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"I love you so much, I don't think I'm gonna make it, it hurts too much Jordan" Tears fell down his cheeks too.

"No Marik, you'll make it you have too, I love you" I cried. I took his helmet off gently, and then I looked at my hand and found it dripping with blood. I gasped. "Marik? Where does it hurt?" I asked him. I looked down the bike peddle was embedded in his chest and he was struggling to breath, the bike was crushing his torso.

"Where the fuck are the paramedics?!" I yelled while crying my eyes out.

"Speak of the devil." Mai said as the paramedics rushed over to the injured boys. They moved me out of the way I stood up and looked down at my shirt that was covered in blood and tears.

The paramedics along with some other guys that were helping pulled the bikes off Marik and Bakura. At the same time both boys screamed in pain.

"Marik!" I ran to his side after the paramedics stifled the blood flow.

"Jordan I'm not gonna make it, tell Ishizu I love her" He winced from the pain. "And my mother tell her too. I wanna say goodbye too you, you're the best thing that ever happened to me Jordan I love you so much" He coughed up more blood.

"No Marik I love you too don't leave me here" I chocked on my tears.

"Don't forget me…I love you" He whispered then his hand went limp and his eyes closed.

"I love you too" I kissed his lifeless lips and held onto his hand tight. My tears flowed down my cheeks. "Noo Marik come back please don't leave me" I cried.

I woke up from my dream in a cold sweat and then huddled in my blankets and cried. I decided to call Bakura.

"Hello" Bakura said groggily.

"Hey Bakura" I sniffed.

"Oh hi Jordan what's wrong?" He asked.

"I had a dream about it Bakura it's getting worse, can you come over?" I asked.

"Sure I'll be right over" He said then hanging up the phone.

I waited out the front of my house for him; he drove in the drive way in his Toyota Supra.

"Hey" He said getting out and coming up to hug me.

"Thanks for coming Bakura" I said.

**AmyLee: **:'( it's so sad man I nearly cried writing this chapter. R&R…It was sad wasn't it?


	5. Remembering Marik

Chapter 5 ……………………Remembering Marik…

It was the week-end finally I walked around my house wondering what to do today, until my stomach turned and I ran to the bathroom to throw up. I knew why I had been throwing up lately…I was carrying Marik's child. I had been to see the doctor last week he had confirmed it. That only made things worse I was seventeen, living on my own, about to leave school and have my dead boyfriends baby, boy what a great life I have. I decided that I would have to tell Marik's mother and sister while I was in the bathroom; I hope they won't freak out when I tell them. I grabbed the phone and called Ishizu.

"Hello" She answered.

"Hello Ishizu" I said.

"Oh hi Jordan what's up?" She said.

"Umm I have something important to tell you would you be able to come over now?" I asked wearily.

"Sure, I'll be right over" She hung up the phone. I waited about 5 minutes before the doorbell rang.

"Hi" She smiled, I knew the smile was fake she was morning over Marik just as much as I was.

"Come in sit down" I said.

"What is it you wanted to tell me?" She asked.

I paused. "Oh man this is hard to say, coz I know I'm gonna get in trouble…I'm pregnant" I said finally.

Ishizu was shocked. "Wait...To whom?" She asked not really knowing the answer.

I paused again fighting back the tears. "…Marik" I said looking at the ground.

"No way…How did you's two get past my mother to do that?" She kind of laughed.

"Hey it was Marik's idea…What am I gonna do Ishizu?" I pleaded.

"I don't know…I want you to keep it I really do, but I don't know about my mother" She replied.

"I was planning on keeping it, but your mother she's a bit scary I don't know how I'm gonna tell her" I said looking at the ground again.

"I'll come with you to tell her, she really likes you. I wanna see this baby grow up, I'm sure it will be like Marik's twin" Ishizu reassured me.

"That's what I'm afraid of if it's a boy which I'm very sure of all I will see is his father in his eyes it will kill me" I cried.

"At least you'll have a memory of Marik all your life, you don't wanna forget him do you?"

"No I want him back" Tears rolled down my cheeks once again.

"No don't cry, let's go to my house and we can tell my mother" Ishizu hugged me trying to fight back her own tears.

We drove to her house, when I got inside all I remembered was Marik and how I practically used to live here.

"Jordan honey, what's wrong?" Mrs. Ishtar asked me.

"Zahra you better sit down I have something I need to tell you, it has to do with Marik" I told her not looking into her eyes.

"What-what about Marik?" She asked as she sat down.

"This is kind of embarrassing, but you need to know…I'm pregnant" I said.

She looked at me seriously. "You mean to my son?" She asked as tears crept into her eyes.

"Yes to Marik…I'm sorry" I said hiding my face as tears once again stained my face.

"No need to be sorry honey, this is a blessing in disguise" She got up and hugged me.

"You mean you're not mad?" I looked up at her.

"Of course not, my son is gone and that hurts me so bad, but now I can see his child and see Marik in his or her eyes." She smiled.

"I have a feeling it's going to be a boy" I said.

"Yean Marik always did have too much testosterone" Ishizu laughed.

I smiled at her, and then I looked at Marik's mother Zahra. "Can I go in his room?" I asked.

"Of course you can" Then she led me down the hall to Marik's room and came inside with me. It still smelt so strongly of him, my legs felt weak. Zahra held onto me and then sat me down on the bed, she sat next to me.

"You miss him so much don't you" She asked me.

"I do, so much I'm not going back to school anymore because it reminds me too much of him." Tears leaked out of my eyes. "This room still smells like him, it's so hard to just sit and here ad not cry my eyes out, I miss him so much" I chocked tears were streaming out of my eyes now. Zahra hugged me tight and cried too.

"It's Ok, you're allowed to cry, I miss him too, I don't even understand why he's gone, he was the best son a mother could have, well except for the loud music and sneaking out" She laughed slightly. I pulled away and looked around the room I saw a picture taken of me and Marik at the beach, he looked so happy it just made me cry so much more.

"You can take that if you want" Zahra said.

"Thank you" I said softly and looked back at the picture.

"Jordan I want you to move in with us, it's just me and Ishizu here now and I have a spare room" Zahra told me.

"I really couldn't I don't wanna be a burden." I rejected her offer.

"No really I want you to move in, you live alone sweety I wanna keep an eye on you, and when you have the baby I can keep an eye on him too. It's no trouble really" She stated.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes I really do want you to" She said firmly.

"Ok then, thank you so much" I hugged her tight.

"It's Ok" She said. "I'm gonna get Bakura and Ishizu to pick up your things from your house" She stated.

"Bakura?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah, he's the only strong boy I know that will help us" She said.

"He's been helping me a lot lately" I said looking out the window.

Bakura drove me to my house that evening to help me get some of my stuff I hadn't told him yet.

"Bakura I need to tell you something" I told him as he helped me pack some of my things.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I'm pregnant" I said.

His eyes went wide. "Marik?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's why I'm staying there now his mother wants to keep an eye on me and the baby" I explained.

"Wow that's great a miniature Marik" He laughed.

We packed up some of my things and headed to the Ishtar residence.

**AmyLee: **Ok I cried this time, it's really sad. Yay a little Marik!! .


	6. Baby Malik

Chapter 6 ……………..Baby Malik…

I sat in the hospital bed waiting for the nurses to bring my new baby boy to me. I'm so tired all I wanna do is see my baby for the first time. Bakura sat next to me waiting with me. Zahra and Ishizu had gone home to rest it was 12 midnight. Bakura had stayed the whole time. The nurse came in with my baby she put him in my arms.

"Hello Malik" I said with tears forming in my eyes. He looked so much like Marik; he had his violet eyes and sandy blond hair. Bakura came up and stood next to me, he looked down at little Malik and smiled.

"He looks so much like his father" He said softly.

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Can you call Zahra and Ishizu and tell them little Malik is waiting for them"

"Of course" Bakura answered, he kissed me on the forehead then left. A nurse came in to check on me.

"How are you and how is the little one?" She asked sweetly

"He looks so much like his father" I said and sniffed.

"Was that boy that just left his father?" She asked.

"No…His father died last year, in a motorbike accident, that boy is his best friend, he crashed as well." I explained.

"Yeah I know I was there with my son Yugi, Marik was his friend" She said.

"You're Yugi's mom? Wow now I see where he gets his good looks from" I giggled.

"Thank you" She blushed.

"Can you bring Yugi in tomorrow? I'm sure he would like to see Malik"

"I'm sure he would like that I guess he can take a day off school, this is pretty important" She smiled at me. "Would you like me to put him in the crib for you?"

"Yes thank you." I said as she took the sleeping baby from my arms.

Bakura came back and told me Zahra and Ishizu were on their way.

-------------------------------------

I was at home at last, I had been living at the Ishtar's house for 9 months now and I still hadn't gotten used to the fact that Marik lived here in the room next to mine. I carried Malik into my room while Bakura carried my luggage behind me. I laid the sleeping Malik gently in the beautiful crib Yugi and Amy-Leigh had bought me. I turned to face Bakura.

"Thank you Bakura, Marik would appreciate your help" I smiled at him.

He smiled back. "It's Ok I just wanna help were Marik would be helping." He looked at the ground.

I walked over and lifted his head up. "Don't feel bad Bakura I love your help, listen I want you to be Malik's godfather Marik would want it this way." I asked him softly.

"Really? I would love that, thank you Jordan" He gave me a killer grin.

I giggled. "Any time Bakura" I kissed him on the cheek an ushered him out of my room so Malik could sleep peacefully.

"Hold on I forgot something" I said turning back into my room and getting the baby monitor and made sure it was turned on and left the room silently. "Baby monitor" I said flashing the speaker thingy at him.

He laughed. "You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on"

I frowned. "Shut Bakura" I punched him on the arm. Then we both stopped at the sound coming form the baby monitor. Malik was crying we both walked to my room to see what was wrong. I picked him up from out of the crib and cooed soothing words to him while Bakura looked around to see what was wrong; I gasped and ran when I seen the huge black spider on the side of the crib. Bakura laughed and squished it with his shoe.

"What, it's huge!" I scolded him, and then checked Malik for any bites there was no bites.

"He must have been just scared; Marik was always scared of them too." Bakura said scraping the dead spider off his shoe and into the bin.

I smiled. "You are just like your dad kiddo" I said to the baby and he laughed at me.


End file.
